


ELLE

by SlytherinPrincess926



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29944689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinPrincess926/pseuds/SlytherinPrincess926
Summary: Elle Madden is a firefighter from NYFD who has requested a transfer to Chicago about a month after Gallo joined the house. How will the Firehouse react to two new additions to the team. Will she let the house in? Will she let the house know her past?
Relationships: Adam Ruzek/Original Female Character(s), Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Kelly Severide & Original Female Character(s), Stella Kidd & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Matt’s P.O.V.

The shift had just started, and most of us were in the kitchen with Kidd comes basically running in.   
“Guys there’s a new firefighter in Boden’s office. She’s a girl!” I wasn’t aware that we were gettting a new firefighter. I mean we just got Gallo a couple of weeks ago. Severidad and I share a look before we both take off towards Boden’s office. When we get to the door I see a brunette woman who is about Stella’s height. Kelly knocks on the door before he opens it. The woman looks up at both of us, and that is the first time I see her dark green eyes. She was very attractive to say the least. When we enter they both stand up.  
“Elle Madden meet Lt. Kelly Severide and Captain Matt Casey. Casey and Severide meet our new transfer from NYFD.” Why were we not informed of the transfer?  
“I wasn’t aware we were getting a transfer, especially after just getting Gallo.” Kelly really did read my mind sometimes.  
“This is very sudden, I know, but Madden is very qualified and highly trained. We are lucky to have her. She’ll be answering to you Severide on Squad 3. Elle can you go find the others while I have a word with these two.” She nods at him, and then leaves. As soon as the door both Kelly and I turn toward him. He never brought someone new in without talking to us.  
“Before you both get into a hissy fit about this she went to her HQ asking for a transfer to Chicago. The details of why is her decision whether or not she tells either of you, but before you two make any assumptions just look at her file. We’re lucky to have her. Now go and make sure the team is accepting.” We both take our copy of her file, and look through it outside of Boden’s office.

Name: Elle Madden  
Age: 32  
Birthday: October 1988  
Father: Unknown  
Mother: Unknown  
Relatives: Unknown  
Notes: First in her class. Extremely focused on the task at hand, and never flinches. Has diving, scuba, negotiation, bombing, firing, and repelling advanced training.  
Personality Notes: Has a hard time forming personal relationships with others, most likely from growing up in the foster system for all of her childhood. Is able to create and maintain professional relationships with others, but stays indifferent.  
Chief Smith, NYFD: I’ve known Elle Madden since she was 13. I’m assuming that the only people who would read this is Chief Boden, Captain Casey, and Lt. Severide. Madden has always been an amazing person to watch grow up, and I’m very saddened to see her go to Chicago. I’m not gonna tell you to go easy on her when it comes to the job, she can handle everything, just don’t expect her to immediately open up to any of you. She has been through a lot. Just know you’ve owned her trust when she finally tells you about her past. Good luck with her. You will never meet a better firefighter.

Kelly and I finish reading the first page, which is basically the gist of her file, about the same time. We were both shocked. Not only was she highly over-qualified, but it was also hard to hear. We nod to each other, accepting that we were ok with this. We reach the kitchen to find Kidd basically asking all about being the only girl in a complete “boy club”. She was gonna fit right in.  
It was a slow day so the team basically got to know Elle. Kelly and I could both tell that she was holding back, but it was her first day. Our shift was almost over when the alarm went off calling all three units.   
It was a burning apartment complex which luckily there were no casualties. Madden also suggested that we use a plan that was used during 9/11, to use the ladder as a hook so that we’re not depending on the building’s stability. She seemed to know a lot about 9/11. Maybe that was part of her past.  
When we got back to the Firehouse everyone packed up, and decided to go to Molly’s, except Elle. She declined which I think started a spark in Kidd to get her to open up. That was gonna be fun to see play out.


	2. Chapter 2

Matt’s P.O.V.

Elle had been here for a couple of weeks now, and she was starting to take on a mother role over both Ridder and Gallo, especially Gallo. The first time I really saw her open up to anyone was when she was comforting him. He had froze up on a call, and I was trying to keep an eye on him to know what was going on which is why I overheard their conversation. He told her the real story on why he became a firefighter, and in return she told him her reason. She was in the twin towers during 9/11. She was on the lower floors so she was one of the first out. Found by Chief Smith who then was a Lt. She encouraged Gallo to talk to me. I had a feeling that there was still more that she wasn’t telling, but it was a start.  
She had also started to come to Molly’s, but refused to drink, which was ok. She had met the Pd and Med people. The girls sort of pushed her into being apart of their group. Elle was definitely more comfortable with the girls from Med and Pd then the guys from there.   
Madden had also become Severide’s second in command when it came to Squad 3 pretty quickly. She was good to say the least. I definitely saw how she never got unnerved on a call after a pretty bad one that had everyone, even the Chief, shaken up but her. I asked her about it hoping that she would let me in slightly. She said that she’d show me after shift.  
After shift she had me follow her to this gym on the outskirts of town. She took me to this back room after saying hi to the person at the desk while getting a set of hand wraps, which I assumed was for me because she brought a bag in. When we got to the room there was a mat in the center, and a couple punching bags. She handed me the wraps to put on while she put hers on Once we had them on she led me over to the punching bag and told me to take a couple swings while thinking about the call. It definitely helped. After a little while I asked her what the mat was for. She smirked a little and brought me to the center of the mat before sweeping my legs out from under me. I was not expecting that whatsoever, and from there she has been teaching me how to fight. We would do it a couple of times a week for the past week or so. We didn’t really talk, but I could tell that she was getting more comfortable around me which was good.  
All three units were called to an apartment fire. I was currently outside with Chief helping to command everyone on how to go about this when we heard gunshots, and then Gallo’s voice came onto the radio.  
“Madden is down! I repeat Elle is down!” Oh god.  
“Gallo get her down here now!” She had to be ok.  
All available Pd units, including Intelligence, were called here. Boden was already telling everyone to get out. As soon as I see Gallo come running out of the building carrying Elle I rush over to take her from him. I could tell almost immediately that he was shaken up. When I take her I immediately see blood coming from the top of her abdomen. Gallo and I both rush over to where Brett and Foster were. They both freeze for a moment, but then get started by taking off her helmet. She was unconscious and the blood was coming fast. I didn’t have med training, but I could tell that it wasn’t good. Intelligence pulls up, and they almost immediately see Elle. The girls wanted to get her to Med quickly, and I wasn’t leaving her, so I got Ridder to take Gallo over to Jay to give a statement. I’m almost certain that he saw her get shot. I hooped into the back of the ambo with Sylvia, and Emily took off.  
It was over an hour before everyone from Firehouse and Pd showed up in the waiting room. Sylvie, Emily, and I were basically dragged into the waiting room while Elle was taken for immediate surgery.  
It was now two hours with no word whatsoever when Connor came out, his scrubs soaked with blood. Everyone’s eyes are on him.  
“We were able to close the wound, but she lost a lot of blood and will need a blood transfer. The only problem is that her records from New York have been lost, and we don’t know what blood type she is. We could do a blood analysis, but it’s more time effective if we take samples of your blood to compare with hers to see if there are similarities that would be acceptable for a transfer.” Gallo is almost up out of his seat immediately, basically ripping his sleeve off, to volunteer and everyone else soon followed.  
It was an hour before we saw anyone again until Will and Connor came back, Will looking as pale as a ghost. Please tell me something didn’t happen.  
“So umm she is currently having the transfer right now. We didn’t need any of you to give blood because we were able to find a match, and their blood type was listed.” Kidd and I both caught onto to what that meant, but she beat me to asking.  
“She has a relative. Who?” At this Will got paler, and looked right at Jay who had his attention on Connor.  
“Actually there were two matches. Almost %100 for both which basically means full blooded siblings.” She had siblings. That was great.  
“Who?” Came from multiple people who were in the waiting room. Connor looked at Will who was just staring into space. Connor sighed and turned towards us.  
“Jay and Will Halstead”


	3. Chapter 3

Matt’s P.O.V

We had just been let into Elle’s room. She was still unconscious which was probably for the best considering the Halstead brothers were still in shock. Everyone had basically elected me to be the one to tell her because apparently I was the closest to her. That was sad because I felt that I barely knew her. She was starting to wake up so the nurses pushed everyone out so they wouldn’t startle her. I refused to leave especially since I had to tell her. I wasn’t sure how she would react.  
“Matt…” She had her eyes slightly opened staring up at me. I was honestly scared to tell her. The Halsteads were in shock, and they had each other. She grew up with no one.  
“Hey Elle. How are you feeling?”How was I going to work the “Oh hey by the way you have two full brothers and they are probably pacing outside.”   
“I’m fine. How is Gallo?” She was really thinking about him right now. She was the one that got shot.  
“He’s fine, probably waiting outside of the door with everyone else, but there is something I need to tell you before they come in.” She looked at me like she was waiting for something bad to happen.  
“It’s not bad, at least I don’t think it is, but your medical records weren’t sent over to Med yet which meant they didn’t know your blood type when you needed a transfer. Connor said that it was more time efficient to just compare our blood with yours because ours was on the system. When they were analyzing the samples your blood matched to two other people who gave a sample as full blood siblings.” She looked up at me with widened eyes.  
“Who?”  
“Jay and Will, they’re your older brothers.” I took her hand, and squeezed it to let her know that I was there, she squeezed it back slightly, smiling.  
“How’s Gallo?” She wasn’t going to talk about how she was feeling. I really wasn’t expecting her too. She was to closed up for just a month of knowing someone to let them in.  
“He is fine, just worried about you, everyone is outside if you want them to come in.” She sighed and then nodded so I went to the door, and as soon as I opened it Gallo ran right in. He really was shaken up about this.   
“Elle I’m so sorry. I should’ve seen him and dodged it. Instead you took a bullet for me. I should be the one here, not you.” She forced herself to sit before she hugged Gallo. I’ve never seen her so much as high five anyone so she must’ve cared for him. If I didn’t like mentoring him so much then I might say that I was thankful I wasn’t the only one parenting the daredevil on the team.  
“I’m alright Blake. I’ll be back on calls in a week or two busting your ass so you better enjoy the break you’re getting.” After she released him from a hug Sylvie, Stella, and Emily surrounded her. Emily and Sylvie checked her charts while Stella was asking how she was feeling. I look over at the Halsteads who were just staring at her.   
After finally talking with all the Firehouse 51 people she turned her attention towards her new found brothers. She had asked me to stay earlier when she talked with them, and Kim and Natalie had stayed as well. She looked up at them while they were just staring at her.  
“Hey, so I guess there is one of us in every type of emergency responders.” She smiled up at them, but I saw what she was doing. Elle was trying to make them feel better. She still didn’t know how she felt. I guess I did know her, or at least how she acts. Even now she hasn’t really flinched. It was scary to say the least. Jay was the first one to break the Halsteads brothers’ stare. He smiled slightly while looking in her eyes.  
“Yeah I guess you’re right.” Before anyone could respond Jay and Kim’s phones went off, and Will and Nat’s pagers went off. They all started rushing out of the room. I turn to her seeing her still staring at where the Halsteads were standing previously.  
“You good Madden?” I had no idea how she was going to react. I can't believe that they thought I knew her better than any of them. I highly doubt that.  
“I’m fine. You don’t have to stay here. They said they were going to discharge me in the morning, and Stella already told me she would pick me up.” Was that her way of kicking me out.  
“Yeah…sure I’ll see you tomorrow then. Though I doubt Chief is gonna let you go on any calls for a while.” She just nodded while her eyes were starting to close. I didn’t feel right leaving when she had no one with her, but I knew she wouldn’t like it if I was watching over her.

A couple of hours later  
Will’s P.O.V.

I had just gotten out of a surgery, and was making my way to Elle’s room, when I got a call from Jay. We hadn’t really talked about Elle yet. I had a little sister. That was still hard to believe.  
“Hey Jay what’s up?”   
“Have you checked on Elle yet?”   
“On my way now, but she’s probably asleep if you're thinking about coming here.”  
“I’m still at the precinct, but I just wanted to talk to you. I looked up Elle.” Oh god. Tell me he didn’t pull her files.  
“Jay…”  
“I googled her name, that's it. New York papers write a lot about their firefighters, and she’s mentioned a lot, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”  
“What is it?”  
“She’s a 9/11 survivor. She was in one of the twin towers.” She was there for that. She couldn’t have been 15 by then.  
“She was there when the plane hit.”   
“Yeah it was mentioned in one of the articles that focused on her Firehouse. You should read some of these. Our sister is a badass.”   
“It’s weird isn’t it saying that we have a sister.” He sighed on the other end, and I heard Kim ask if he was ok. I had to get Elle to agree that they belonged together. It wouldn’t be just one v one anymore.  
“Yeah. I’m half tempted to look up her file to see what type of life she had in the system, but that’s her story. Are you in her room yet? How is she?” I had just gotten into her room. As I predicted she was sound asleep. She was probably exhausted. Luckily she didn’t need to be on a lot of pain killers.  
“She is sleeping, and should be discharged tomorrow morning.” She looked really peaceful.   
“Ok well I should probably get going. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”   
“Yeah bye.” He hung up, and I just sat down on the chair that was next to her bed. It was weird having a sister. It felt different than having a brother. When I first met her at Molly’s I felt protective of her the moment I saw her. It freaked me out then, but now that I think about it. Is that what it's like to have a younger sibling, or is it because she’s my sister.


	4. Chapter 4

Elle’s P.O.V.  
I had just been discharged, and now had to wait for Stella to come. I was able to avoid Will. Which I didn’t know if his shift had ended or not. I had a brother...two actually. How the hell am I supposed to feel? It’s bad enough that I was trying to rebuild my life from the scraps that they had been left in when I left New York, but now I had to figure out this brother thing.  
“Hey...uh...I heard you were discharged so what are you still doing here?” When I turned to the side I found one of the people who was on my mind: the red-headed one.  
“I’m waiting for Stella. She’s coming to give me a ride after shift starts because Boden isn’t letting me drive.”  
“I can give you a ride to 51 if you want. My shift just ended.” His eyes were full of hope. I had nothing against Will, and I knew that he was a good guy. I also knew that he and Jay were both very close which was terrifying and hopeful at the same time. If I was back in New York I would’ve politely turned him down. It had always been me against the world. This was really all I knew, but Chief Smith would kick my ass if he decided to check in on me and saw that I was going back to how I was before. The person I swore to leave in New York.  
“You know what that would be really nice, thanks.” Will shot me a bright smile before grabbing my arm slightly to make sure I was ok to get out of the chair: which I was, but it felt nice to have someone care. I really hoped living in Chicago would work out. Will helped me into the passenger seat before starting the 15 minute drive to 51. I quickly send a text to Stella telling her I got a ride, and would see her soon.  
“So uh just so you know Jay and I both know that you were in 9/11 so if you want to talk about or not. I just wanted you to know that we knew so that you didn’t think...ugh I don't really know I just didn’t want you to tell us and then find out that we already knew.” Apparently being able to use words corhernetly might not run in the family.  
“I’m gonna guess that Jay was the one who googled me, and you too knowing is fine: so does Matt and Gallo.”  
“How’d you know he googled you?”   
“Because if he read my file you would’ve had a lot better conversation starters then the fact that I was in the twin towers on 9/11.” I guess he sort of understood my logic there.   
“Jay only googled your name; he felt that reading your file would be an invasion of privacy. Now what is this about calling Casey by his first name. Is there something I should know.” He wiggled his eyebrows slightly at me before turning back towards the road. Normally I hated people trying to protect me, even if they made it a joke, but for some reason I was ok with Will jokingly being protective over me. It was like he was meant to.  
“There is nothing going on, and I’m allowed to call guys by their first names. Thank you very much.” By now Will had just parked near 51, and I got out of the car thinking that he would just drive away once I got out. Nope, when I turned around to close the door he was already out, and he definitely saw my confusion.  
“You honestly thought that I would just drop you off with only you knowing what you can and can not do.Yeah right. I may not know you that well, but you remind me of Jay. Now come on let’s get you to work.” Ok maybe an older brother might not be so great after all. Now I knew for sure that I wasn’t going into the field for probably at least two weeks. As soon as we turn the corner to the driveway I hear Stella scream and start bolting towards me. She slows down slightly before tackling me with a hug as lightly as you could possibly tackle someone.  
“I know it was only a couple of hours, but god I missed having my girl to run into fires with me. I was stuck with the boys.”  
“They aren’t too bad Stells besides your gonna have to get ready to just be with them for a while because this one is here to make sure that I don’t go back on calls until I’m completely healed.” I point over at Will, who Stella totally ignored in her way over here, he just waved slightly as we started to walk into the station. I was surprised that Stella was the only one that was downstairs because Squad was normally at their table. That was until I remembered that shift started early enough that they probably didn’t get breakfast. When we walked through the door to the apparatus floor Gallo was the first one who saw us, and of course he was still feeling guilty even if it wasn’t his fault.  
“Elle should you even be walking right now? Here sit down. Whatever you need just ask me. I’m so sorry.” He started to try and drag me over to where he was previously seated,, but I put my foot down slightly before turning around, which hurt a little more than I’m willing to admit, and put both of my hands on his shoulders to hopefully calm him down.  
“Gallo stop it’s not your fault. Now go back and finish your breakfast before a call comes in, and you end up not being able to think of anything but how hungry you are. Oh and if I here you mutter one word about me getting shot being your fault I’ll make sure that you don’t speak another word again. Understood.” Gallo gives a small smile before going back to his seat.  
“Why does Gallo feel guilty about Elle getting shot?” Wait Will really didn’t know that I took a bullet for Blake.  
“Elle jumped in front of Blake when she saw the shooter.” Matt...Casey had just walked into the room with Boden when Will asked the question. I was close enough to Will to hear him mutter,  
“Just like Jay” before he put a hand on my shoulder, and then went over to where Boden, Casey, and now Severide were probably to make sure that my superiors knew what my limits were until I was clear.  
“So what’s going on with you and Casey?” Stella was still right next to me. She was becoming my work best friend, and possibly my best friend outside of work too. Which is kinda sad considering the fact that we’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks. Though apparently she thought that we were close enough to bring up guys.   
“Nothing is going on with me and Casey.” I don’t even know where she would get that idea from.  
“Really, well he sure was upset when you got shot.”   
“So was Gallo. Actually he still is. I can’t control how he reacts so if you want go ask him.” Stella’s face brightened up. Oh great I had just given her an idea.  
“I’m going to have Kelly do just that. Just you wait. You’ll see that you caught the eyes of Matt Casey.” I roll my eyes at her before softly hitting her when I realized that Will, Boden, Kelley, and Matt...nope...Casey was walking over here.  
“Alright Madden you are not going on calls for at least two weeks, but you can still be at the station as long as you know your limits. If anyone at the station thinks that you are they are to tell you, and you are to stop. Do you understand me?” He said the part about everyone a little bit louder to make sure everyone heard.  
“Yes sir I understand. Thank you sir.” I then turn to Will.  
“Just to make sure cooking is a part of the things that I can do right.”   
“Yeah you can as long as you rest if you get too tired or sore. I have to get going because I’m meeting Jay for a brunch thing. I would invite you, but you're working, and I’m pretty sure you will be the main topic of discussion.” He moved to put a hand on my shoulder like he had done before. It was like the perfect compromise between a handshake and a hug. I don’t think either of us were ready for the latter yet.  
“It’s fine. Maybe you two can figure out better conversation starters for when you talk to me.” Will and I both laughed while everyone else looked at us weirdly. It was a weird inside joke, I know, but this whole thing was weird.  
“Make sure you take care of yourself, and call me if you need anything. You have both mine and Jay’s numbers right? I left a paper on the side table. Call if you need anything.” I nodded, and he shot me a smile before saying bye to everyone at the firehouse. I walk over to my bunk to get a notebook in order to get an inventory of what we have in the kitchen. What? When I do something I do it 110%, and if I don’t have something to do I’m going to go stir crazy.

Matt’s P.O.V.

Will had just left, and Elle was over in the kitchen doing what looks like seeing what she has to work with. Elle was probably going to become very comfortable there.  
“So...what’s going on with you and our newest firefighter.” Kelly was leading me toward my office so that we could speak privately.   
“There is nothing going on with me and Madden.”   
“Then why were you practically staring at her before I pulled you in here.”  
“I wasn’t staring at her. I was thinking.” Severide scoffed  
“Yeah about her.”  
“You know what I’m not talking about this right now. There is nothing going on between me and Elle.” I walk out of my office, not really knowing where I planned to go, but somehow my legs took me to the kitchen. Where Elle still happened to be.  
“So what are you planning for lunch and dinner today since you’re apparently our residential chef for a little while.”   
“I’m still figuring it out, but before next shift I’m definitely going to need to go to the store.”  
“I can go with you, and carry all of the bags for you.”  
“Is that an order?” Madden jokingly while walking all over the kitchen.  
“You know what, since it involves something to do with the firehouse, yes I order you to let me carry all of the heavy bags of groceries.”  
“Controlling much” The only reason I knew that she was joking was because she sent me a quick grin. I really have got to get better at reading her.  
“I’d prefer the term chivalrous so… things seemed to be going well with Will.”  
“Yeah I guess they are.” Damn it I totally just derailed this entire conversation.  
“So I guess I won’t have to worry about you kicking my ass anytime soon.” Elle gave me a look, and just laughed.  
“What?”  
“You really are teaching Gallo well. Neither you nor him realize that just because I’m injured doesn’t mean I still can’t kick your ass.”


	5. Chapter 5

Jay’s P.O.V.

Where the hell is Will? I mean he’s only ten minutes late, but he would’ve told me if he was held back in traffic. Maybe he was at the hospital...oh wait here he is nevermind.   
“Hey sorry I’m late.” He sat down at the table, and looked at the food I ordered for him. It had become a thing that we did if the other was running late; since it wasn’t a rare occurrence.   
“It’s fine. Where were you?”  
“Uh....I was at 51.” Huh.  
“Why were you at the firehouse.”  
“Oh I gave Elle a ride there after my shift when she got discharged.”   
“Ok...how is she?” I mean she’s obviously well enough to be able to go to the station.  
“She’s fine, not going on calls until fully clear, and is the new cook for 51.” So I guess she likes to cook.  
“What’s she like?” How were we supposed to do this? Mom never mentioned, once, about having another kid: even when she got sick. I guess there really isn’t a guide book on how to do this.  
“She’s really nice, which I guess you already knew, and she has a good sense of humor. Did you see that she has red highlights? I wonder if they are natural or not; I should’ve asked her.” I remembered seeing red in her hair when she came to Molly’s one night with her hair down. Any other time I’ve seen her except in the hospital she always had her hair up; probably due to being a firefighter.  
“That’s really all we know about our full blooded sister.” This whole thing held a bunch of confusion. Mom was so amazing so why would she give up her daughter for adoption. It was hard to believe, but DNA doesn’t lie. Will and I both looked at eachother, and the question that we both didn’t have the guts to say aloud passed through both our minds.   
“We’ll just have to learn more about her.”

Narrator’s P.O.V.

Unbeknownst to all of the Halstead siblings Elle ended up having a similar conversation with Stella on the way to her apartment.

Elle’s P.O.V.

“I just don’t know them.” I was in the car with Stella on the way to my apartment because Boden said that I should go home so that I could sleep on my own bed, which would obviously be more comfortable and I could get better sleep, which ended with Kidd driving me home. I made the mistake of asking her because a minute into the car ride she started the conversation about Jay and Will; at least it wasn’t about Casey because that was not going to happen.  
“So they’re good people Elle. I’m just saying to give them a chance.”  
“What makes you think that I’m not. I did let Will drive me to the firehouse.” I did not want to talk about this right now.  
“I’m not saying that you aren’t; I’m just saying that you should open up more with them. They’ll be there for you.” I’m not sure about that one. Thank god that she just pulled up to my apartment complex.  
“Well thank you for the ride, but I’m on strict orders to get some rest.” I was able to get out of the car, and get into my apartment complex before watching her drive away. I waved hi to the lobbyist before going onto the elevator thinking that my day couldn’t get any worse. I was apparently wrong. When I got to my apartment door it was already open. I knew that I didn’t leave it open, but one of the girls did get some clothes for me before I left the hospital so I opened the door slightly. I was wrong. My day could get worse; my apartment was trashed. I knew that I needed to stay calm; I took a deep breath, pulled out the piece of paper that was in my purse, and called one of the numbers. It rang twice before he answered.  
“Halstead.” Did I really want to bring him into whatever this was. Well...I already had him on the phone.  
“Hey...It’s Elle. I need your help with something.” I guess this was gonna be a good way for us to get to know each other.  
“What’s up? Are you ok?” You could hear his voice change to overly concerned. Was this really what I wanted to do?  
“Can you come over to my apartment? Someone broke in.” I guess it was. I could hear him take a deep breath.  
“Text me your address, and I’ll be over there in a few. Go down to the main lobby, and don’t go into your apartment until I get there.” Well obviously.  
“Sure thanks.”  
“No problem; what are siblings for.”


	6. Chapter 6

Jay’s P.O.V.  
As soon as I got off the phone with Elle I got into my car, and drove probably faster then I needed too. But, she called me for this, and this was really the first time we would have an actual conversation since we found out. Also I was a little pissed; couldn’t she catch a break. I mean she just moved to a new place, was shot, and now had her apartment broken into. When I got to her apartment complex I nearly ran in there looking for her. I didn’t even understand what I was feeling: just that I wanted to protect her. I found her sitting at the front desk talking to the lady there.   
“Hey you ok?” I scanned over her body, and besides looking exhausted she looked fine. Even with her apartment being broken into. She even sent me a slight smile.  
“Yeah, thanks for coming, I just really want to see what happened” I give her a nod before following her up to her apartment. She locked it back up, but when she opened the door everything looked trashed.   
“You know I’m half tempted to call my team in for this.” I got a look sent towards me saying that she doesn’t believe me.  
“You work in Intelligence; you guys do way more than break-ins.” For a moment I thought she was right. That was before I looked at a picture that she had of what I assume is her old firehouse. There was a red circle around Elle with ‘It’s nice to see you again’   
“I’m definitely calling my team. Elle go get a bag with stuff you’ll need for a couple of days while I call Voight. You’re staying with me.” When she saw the picture I knew then that she was deciding not to argue. She walked into a room, and I waited a couple minutes to make sure she was ok before calling Hank. After explaining the situation Hank called the whole team in, and within 20 minutes all of them were in Elle’s apartment. Kevin was getting the security camera footage and Kim and Hailey were interviewing staff members and Elle’s neighbors. Meanwhile Adam, Hank, and I were asking Elle questions; well mainly me.  
“So what did you do before you called me?”  
“Stella dropped me off probably ten minutes before I called you. She didn’t come in because technically she’s still on shift, and had to get back. I came to my door, found that it was open, and checked inside because Stella was the last one in here to get me clothes for the hospital. When I saw the place was a wreck I called Jay.” I had asked her other questions before that, and really was just avoiding asking her the question that really needed to be asked. I didn’t want to know what enemies my sister had, or who would want to hurt her. Hank ended up asking.  
“Who would want to hurt you, or try to scare you.” The ‘ex’ was implied. She didn’t answer right away, but when she got up she started talking. She started walking as well, and all three of us followed.  
“Before I graduated from the fire academy in New York there were a few random dates which never went to anything. After I graduated there were 3 solid relationships: 2 ex-boyfriends and 1 ex-fiancé. None of which would do anything like this; all of the relationships ended peacefully, and I’m even friends with two of them.” She was engaged. I’d have to ask her about it later. We followed her into her bedroom, which was a mess as well, and watched as she went to her closet. Elle pulled away a fake wall in her closet, and bent down to unlock the safe. It seemed to prick her thumb for blood, matched her index finger to a scanner, and then she had to put in a password. A little excessive. She then pulled out a large binder, and closed it but before she did I saw a box in there as well. She’ll tell me about it when she’s ready.  
“In this are all the files of all the cases I worked on for OFI in New York along with all the files on any foster homes I ever stayed in, and some other stuff. From the names of my previous foster parents you can get the names of kids who stayed there.” Elle handed the binder to Adam, and he seemed surprised by the weight of it. I hoped most of those were cases and not profiles of foster homes.   
“You worked OFI?” Adam thankfully was able to take my mind off of that for a while.  
“Yeah if you total up it probably sums up to 6 or 7 years.” That was probably half of her career: maybe being an investigator runs in the family. Elle then tried to hide a yawn, but all three of us noticed it, and Voight ordered me to take her to my apartment. Neither of us said anything while in the car, and once we got to my apartment I knew that I needed to break the silence somehow.  
“So I heard that you are now the cook for 51.” Elle dropped her bag by the door, and then we both headed over to the couch. While doing that she sent me a smile.  
“Will should take some notes. That was a way better conversation starter then I know you were in 9/11, and yeah I guess I am.” Wait...Will didn’t tell me that.  
“Did he seriously?”  
“Yeah...umm is there somewhere where I can get ready, and then attempt to sleep.” I nodded, and pointed her in the direction of the bathroom and spare bedroom. I waited a couple of minutes until I heard the shower start before I began to allow myself to relax. I turn on the Bears game that was on, and was just getting into it when I got a text from Adam.  
I thought I’d give you the heads up. Elle has FBI files in the binder that she gave us.


	7. Chapter 7

Elle’s P.O.V

Jay has been acting weird all morning. Well maybe he isn’t because I don’t know him, but he hasn’t really said anything to me. All I got was “morning” and “you ready to go”. We’re in the car right now, and there is this silence between us, and it wasn’t a comfortable silence at all.  
“Alright what’s up with you?” I looked over at him just in time to see that his eyes had just glazed over me. He seemed conflicted; like he was debating something.  
“If I ask you a question will you be honest with me?” What was he gonna ask?  
“Depends on the question. No offense but some things are personal.” I already knew that he was going to ask the question, it must have been on his mind all morning, and the least I can do is try to answer it.  
“Why are there FBI files in that binder?” Damn...I forgot that I put those in there for extra precaution.   
“You’re probably going to put the pieces together when we get to the precinct. One of my former foster parents was an FBI Special Agent.” There was more; I just didn’t know how he would react to it.  
“There’s more than that Elle. Adam texted me this morning to tell me that you had foster parents who were suspected in multiple different crimes, but you don’t have those files in that binder.” He was right. Anyone who knew me through those people when I was with them knew that they didn’t care about me whatsoever.  
“His name was James Madden…”

Jay’s P.O.V.

“His name was James Madden; the longest foster parent I ever had. I was with him from the time that I was 9 to 13. He worked in the Criminal Investigative Division, and was a Unit Chief. The reason why I have the case files of the cases that he worked when I was with him is because he was different then other foster parents I’ve had.” Woah...the first thing that stuck out to me was that while growing up the longest she ever stayed in the same place was four years: no wonder she’s so closed off.   
“Why do I feel like there’s more?” I had just stopped at a stop light so I had time to see her reaction. Elle looked over at me almost emotionless, but I saw her eyes. I saw the same thing when I looked in a mirror while I thought of mom: grief.   
“There is...he was the reason why I was in the tower. He let me stay home from school that day to give me a mental break. The whole day was planned, and it was going to start after he made one errand. He let me stay at the bottom while he went up: having the security guards watch me. That day he didn’t tell me why he had to stop there, but I found out a couple of days later. He was planning on adopting me, and he had to go to the tower because he had a lawyer friend who was helping him with the papers. He was...no...is the closest thing I have ever known as a parent.” I didn’t know what to say to that. I’m glad that she at least had a good childhood for four years, but I wish she didn’t have to go through that.   
“I’m sorry.” That was all I could say. She sent me a small smile. Thankfully we just arrived so I hope she would get distracted by something. I lead her straight to the stairs while sending a smile to Platt. When we enter the room I point her in the direction of my desk. After that I saw Adam trying to catch my eye. Once I got over to him he looked over at Elle to see her talking to Kim.  
“What’s up”   
“I have two things. One is that I’ve found her social media’s; she hasn’t posted since a couple months before she came here, and there were no threatening messages. I also checked out the pages of some of the guys in her old house, and have contacted them: I’m waiting on a response. You should check out this one guys insta after we solve this. It might give you some insight on Elle. I mean look at some of these videos.” All of them were filled with Elle with a guy or two smiling, laughing, and one was even of her singing. She looked so light-hearted; nothing like how she acts now so what happened.  
“Two is that I’ve gone through most of the OFI files, and dude your sister has helped take down some of the top serial arsons in New York. While going through the files there are only three that weren’t solved. There was this one suspect, Peter Sallow, that Elle had for, at the time, three arsons, but she could never get enough evidence to be able to get him for it. Now this is the part you aren’t gonna like. This suspect is now alleged to have started five, but Elle was taken off of the case after the third fire.” Adam then stopped, and he looked like he was thinking of how to put whatever it was he was going to say. That means that I probably won’t like it.  
“What?” Adam just took a deep breath before meeting my eyes.  
“Elle was taken off of the case because right before the third fire she started to be stalked: letters at the door and in the office, threats to her then fiance at the time, her coffee order delivered to her work, calling her at work from an unknown number, and even an attempted break in at the apartment that her and her fiance were living in. For some reason they all stopped after the fifth fire.” He just stared at me; probably trying to predict what I was going to do. I didn’t know what I was thinking. I was about to go ask Elle about it, but Adam stopped me by grabbing my wrist.  
“Jay...there’s more.” Could it get any worse?  
“The fifth fire happened a block away from where she gets her coffee, or at least where I assume she gets her coffee because of the socials. She was the first to respond: ran into the fire with no gear. It took first responders 7 minutes to get there, and by then Elle already had everyone out. It was in Brooklyn so there weren’t many people. News cameras caught it, and she earned the ranking of Lt. after that. The weird thing is that most of the people from her old firehouse stopped posting about her. She stopped posting all together, and the only posts are farewells.” That was weird.   
“Something must have happened between then and now: obviously it got the guy to stop for a little bit.” Kevin then came over from his desk, and bent down so we all were in a huddle.  
“Ruz, I ran bank statements on our guy, and a month ago he purchased a plane ticket to Chicago. I was unable to get a hit on facial recognition so all we have is circumstantial. I doubt we have enough to get a warrant.” Damn it...we can’t get this guy yet.  
“Why don’t we just ask Elle? She did work the case.” Adam said it loud enough that Kim and Elle both heard, and came over.  
“Ask me what?” Both Adam and Kevin looked at me wanting to know how I wanted to play this. Elle is an adult, and from what little I know about her she wouldn’t appreciate being treated like a child.  
“Peter Sallow.” That’s all I needed to say because she immediately went blank.   
“You think it was him?” All three of us nodded.  
“He’s not gonna hurt me.” What the hell.  
“Elle he broke into your apartment. How the hell do you know he’s not gonna hurt you?!” I know I probably didn’t have the right to be this protective of her, but whether we grew up with each other or not she’s my sister. She then looks me dead in the eyes, and whispers one simple word that has us all confused.  
“Miriam”


	8. Chapter 8

Jay’s P.O.V.

“I’m sorry, what?” What the hell was Miriam? All of us were looking at her like she was crazy.  
“Miriam means ‘beloved’. I remind him of his little sister; from what he told me the last time I talked to him they grew up in the system, and were separated. He’s not gonna hurt me because I am the closest person he’s found that is like her.” We all just sit there for a while. I couldn’t help, but compare our situations. I couldn’t think of that right now, or else I will go into the rabbit whole filled with why? The next thought I had was whether or not Elle realized just how dangerous this could get. I looked her in the eyes silently asking her if she knew; all I got was a nod in return. I’m sure she got that speech before. Voight and Hailey had just walked back into the room when my desk phone rang. When I saw that it was an unknown I remembered that it was part of the MO of Elle’s stalker. Before I answer I give Ruzek the signal to trace the number. After he started I answered the phone, and put it on speaker.  
“Halstead” Everyone was silent: wondering whether it was him or not.  
“Ah...Detective Jay Halstead I have a preposition for you. I will come to your precinct, and we can talk.” He then went silent; he was egging me on. He wanted me to ask the question. I look to Voight, and he gives me the roll with it look.  
“For what in return?”  
“I want to see Elle, and possibly have a talk with her; it’s been far too long.” No. Not happening period, and I was about to say as such, but Elle cut me off.  
“I’m looking forward to it Pete.” She then ended the call before anyone could say anything.  
“What the hell are you thinking?” I was pissed. Just because we didn’t grow up together didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to protect her, and keeping her away from him seemed like the best option.   
“It’s the only way you’re going to get him to talk. He does this for attention, Jay. If he doesn’t get it now he’s gonna get it from the media, and that is going to cost lives.” Voight then decided to cut in because I wasn’t going to back down. There was something she wasn’t saying about this guy.  
“Halstead, she’s right, this is the best bet with the least risk to civilians. Elle you know him better then we do. What do we have to know?”   
“His main purpose for doing this is to get attention: not from the public, but his younger sister. According to him they were separated when she was 6 and he was 14. All of this is according to what he told us, New York’s records are air tight, and without physical evidence there was never a warrant, but apparently there parents died in a fire when she was 3 and he was 11. He rationalizes it that the fires will somehow remind his sister of him, and she’ll come looking.” That did not make any sense.  
“What about the name, Miriam?”   
“Yeah, Kim’s right there’s that whole bit of crazy too.” I mean Adam wasn’t wrong. She did leave out the whole this guy stalked her part.  
“That led to nothing. We searched the system for the name and the age range, but got nothing. It most likely is just a nickname. Though if you think that’s crazy you don’t want to hear what I think should happen.” Oh god. What now?  
“Elle please don’t say that you should talk to him.” I know that it was probably over protective, but it made a hell of more sense then what came out of her mouth.  
“No, that’s only a last resort, I was going to say that you should talk to him.” Ok clearly everything is catching up to her because that’s crazy. She walked right up in front of me, determined to get her point across, and I knew then that I was gonna have a conversation with my little sister’s stalker.  
“He had a history with drugs when he was a teenager. That meant that he was known by the cops in the neighborhood. Every time they would have something to do with narcotics they went to him, and I’m almost certain they weren’t always the nicest. Peter is used to the hard ass cop when being interrogated; it’s one of the reasons he clung to me when I was on the case. The only way to get him to talk is to relate to him, and right now you are the closest person in this room, besides me, who can relate to him.” I had to be nice to this guy; the guy who broke into my sister’s apartment, and drew a red circle around a picture of her. Elle’s looking me in the eyes, and then puts a hand on my shoulder with a soft smile on her face.  
“Not nice, just civil.” She then turned to Hank who nodded his head; I guess we were doing this.  
“Atwater, Upton, and Rojas go downstairs, and wait for the guy. We don’t know if he’s gonna change his mind and put up a fight. Halstead, Burgess, Ruzek, and Elle we are going to be up here waiting. We are going to let him see Elle while the other three bring him up and put him in interrogation 1. In the meantime, Jay, you're going to be wearing an earpiece that’s connected to Elle so she can coach you on some things to say when you’re in there. The rest of us will be in observation.”

Ten minutes later I was forced to watch Kevin march this guy to interrogation.  
“Hello Ella-Bee, I missed you in New York.” Adam and I automatically stand in front of her. I sent her a look that she wasn’t to say a word to him. Thankfully, it looked like she wasn’t going to fight this. Once him and Kev were out of sight Elle turned right to me.  
“Jay you have to relate to him. Ask him a question about me; it’ll get him talking. Just don’t get too pissed off.” What does that mean? I was about to ask her, but she just shook her head. I didn’t have time to question it because then Kevin walked back out, and said  
“Alright Halstead you’re up.” 

Adam’s P.O.V.

We all were waiting in observation watching Jay watch our guy. For the past 5 minutes Jay has just been staring at him, and Elle was starting to get pissed off.  
“Jay the longer you wait the more he’s gonna go into the mindset where he’s not gonna talk to you. Just rip the damn band aid off. Stop being a coward.” Like I said she was getting pissed because for the first minute she gave him things to start the conversation, and he did nothing, then for the next four minutes she’s alternating between things to say and why he should start talking. Now she’s doing the other two, and has started throwing insults and curse words. If this wasn’t for a case I would probably be laughing my ass off right now. Anyway Jay just took a deep breath so the show might begin soon.  
“Do you know who I am?” Really Halstead out of everything Elle has given you, and you start with that. Are you trying to piss her off because you definitely just did.  
“Seriously, did he forget that whole phone call. Obviously he knows who you are, he said your name dumbass.” I really wanted to laugh. The only things stopping me were that Voight was in the room, and I felt like there was something off. For this whole thing Elle has been completely calm, but as soon as she told Jay not to get pissed off she’s been on edge.   
“You’re Detective Jay Halstead, the newfound brother of the amazing Elle Madden. You know that must’ve been a shock. I know it was for her. She always thought she was abandoned: never even tried to find blood relatives.” I knew he was right when Elle looked slightly guilty.  
“Jay don’t focus on that. Focus on the fact that you both had younger sisters who were separated from you because of the system.” We all looked at her: seeing if she was ok, but she wasn’t taking her eyes off of Sallow. I had a feeling this was going to get bad.  
“Look I get the whole deflective thing. I do it to when things get personal, but Elle sent me in here for a reason. She said I can relate to you.”   
“Only to some extent Detective. I don’t know how I would feel if my sister went through what sweet Elle did. That’s the reason why I came to Chicago; I wanted to apologize.” Everyone, even Jay I’m sure, heard the deep breathe that Elle took. This was what caused her to be on edge.   
“What do you mean?” Elle’s eyes were getting slightly wet, and I did something out of instinct. I put my hand on her shoulder which immediately snapped her attention towards me.  
“I honestly didn’t think he knew.” It was a quiet whisper that only I heard.  
“You don’t know. She seriously sent you in here without you knowing...oh...she knew I’d be able to tell if you were pulling a bull crap reaction. She knows me so well.” Both of the Halstead siblings were getting pissed.  
“Just get to the point.”  
“Or maybe this was just easier for her than actually telling you. Well if that’s the case then I’ll consider this a part of my apology. Let’s just say Detective that the only way you’re gonna be made a blood uncle is from your brother.” Oh god. We all knew what that meant. No one looked at Elle because I’m pretty sure no one wanted to see how she’d react. Jay snapped; he stood right up and left interrogation only to come in a couple seconds later fuming.  
“Is that true.” To Elle’s respect she wasn’t even phased.   
“Yes, but I didn’t expect him to know.” Jay still looked pissed, and there was no way he’s going to be able to be in the same room as him. I don’t think any of us are. Elle the does the unthinkable, and we’re too shocked to stop her before she’s already there, and makes her way into interrogation. As soon as Sallow sees her he gets this content look on his face.  
“You know I didn’t mean to piss him off.”  
“I know Peter, it's just your nature. Now let’s have the talk that you and I were going to have before I was taken off the case. You and I both know that you set those fires, you just have to admit it.”   
“You know I can’t do that Elle: not until I find her or she finds me.” This really was all about his sister.  
“Do you honestly think she’d even connect the fires to the one that killed your parents. Peter she was three her mind probably blocked it out to protect her, and do you even think she’d like being related to you. You set off five fires; Peter 123 people died because of you. Do you honestly think that she would be happy to see you: if she remembers you. You latched onto me because I reminded you of her; I’m the closest thing you’ve ever found to her so take what I’m saying as it’s coming from her. Do you remember the fear in her eyes when you two were separated. If I was her that same fear would be in my eyes if I found out that 123 people died because of me. That I was blood related to someone who could kill that many people. Honestly Pete, do you want her to look in the mirror, and only see a possible arson.” Once she finished her little speech she stood up, and just before leaving she turned towards him again.  
“Someone’s gonna come in here with a confession which you are going to sign because you love your sister.” Elle then walked out of the room, and came right back into observation.  
“Like I said last resort.”

Elle’s P.O.V. 

Peter did end up signing it, and I was finally able to put all of this past me. Jay and I were currently back at his apartment, and he still hasn’t said anything about that. I just got out of the shower, and had texted Stella catching her up because she found out from Severide who was told by Boden who Hank called. Luckily no one else knew at 51. I also promised to get breakfast with her tomorrow, and then we were going to go grocery shopping before shift. It meant that I had to cancel with Casey, but he only offered because I was shot, and if there was more then that I had to put a stop to it. I had to figure out this brother thing before I could even think about relationships. Speaking of brother; I needed to talk to Jay. I didn’t even realize what I was doing when I sat down next to him, and put my head on my shoulder.  
“You know from the time that I was nine till 9/11 I wanted to be a cop.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, but then I decided to be a firefighter. I always questioned whether it was the right choice or not, but Peter made me realize that I wouldn’t be able to do it.”  
“Why?”  
“I don’t hate him: I can’t. No matter how much he took from me I still understand him. Probably now more than ever. He’s the reason why I moved here. I needed a fresh start and I ended up finding you guys. Sometimes you find things you aren’t looking for, but you need.” Jay then put an arm around me, and for a couple minutes we just sat there.  
“I’m glad you found us.” That made me smile: more than I have in awhile. I’m looking forward to figuring out this brother thing.  
“How about you call Will, and see if he can bring a pizza. Then we can just hang out.”


	9. Chapter 9

Elle’s P.O.V.

“So how is it staying with Jay?” I’m surprised she waited until we got our coffee before she started on the fact that she picked me up at one of my brothers’ apartment.  
“It’s fine, Stell, Will came over last night and we had pizza and watched a movie.” They made me promise that we would do it again; even when I go back to my apartment in a week.  
“That’s great, Elle. See I told you that they were good people.”  
“I never said they weren’t.”   
“Yeah, but you needed the reassurance; especially after everything that happened yesterday. How are you doing after that anyway?” That was another thing that I was surprised she hadn’t asked about before now. She had just spent the whole drive to the coffee shop catching me up on everything that had happened yesterday. It was one of our many 48 hour shifts, but Boden let Stella leave for a bit to get me. I will never say this out loud, or imply that Boden plays favorites with the girls and the guys, but sometimes it pays off being a girl in a man’s world.  
“I’m fine Stella, of course it was a little more personal than most, but I’ve dealt with worse people while working at OFI.” Her eyes just lit up; it was amusing especially because of the looks she got from people around us.  
“Oh my god you should’ve seen Kelly’s face when he looked through your OFI cases. He was definitely humbled because he thought he had a lot of cases under his belt.” Oh I’m sure; Severide can always benefit from being knocked down a few pegs.  
“Maybe that’s why we make such a good team; I keep him from having his head too high off the ground.”   
“Totally, I think he actually misses having you on Squad. They all do.” I missed going out on call too. I hate to admit it, but I’ve grown attached to my Squad brothers: even if they are annoying as hell sometimes.  
“Don’t tell any of them this, but I sort of miss them too. Though I doubt I’m gonna miss them very much when I have to make their food.” By now we were already back in her car, and on our way to the local Walmart.  
“Oh yeah speaking of food; what are you making?” Luckily I had a lot of time while in the hospital to think up a menu.  
“Well for lunch I’m making peanut soup, which is for both lunch and dinner, and stuff to make wraps. For dinner I’m making jambalaya, avocado panzanella, and biscuits and gravy.” I know it might seem like a lot, but I had to take into account Emily being vegetarian, and me not really wanting to have nothing to do.  
“Well I can’t wait to have some; I’m sure you will be everyone’s favorite in the firehouse.” Oh that was without a doubt definitely going to happen. The cardinal rule about the best way to get on the good side of firefighters is always through their stomachs. Lets just say that they like food more than most cops like donuts. The only reason it didn’t show is that the fires made them sweat off all the calories they gained.   
As we pull up into the driveway of 51 I already see Severide standing there waiting for us.  
“Did you text him when we left the store?”   
“Yep.” She didn’t even look guilty as he made his way towards us while both of them refused to let me carry a single bag. Are you serious? I’m not some broken doll.  
“You know I hadn’t expected you to be in OFI.” Did he really want to walk into this?  
“Why’s that?” There it was, men were so predictable, he looked like a deer in headlights. Two of my favorite words when talking to men who have spent a little bit of time around women. They knew that if they didn’t say whatever they said next they would get their heads bitten off. Those two words were fight words, and men with common sense knew that.  
“You just have never really mentioned any interest in OFI.” His eyes kept going from me to Stella basically asking us if he answered that right.  
“Well if you had an experience like that in OFI wouldn’t you want to stay away from it for a bit.” I sent them both a smile; to try and reassure them. Of course it didn’t work. That was evident when Severide stopped in front of the firehouse; right in front of me might I add.  
“Madden, no one else besides Boden knows about what happened yesterday we didn’t tell anyone because we didn’t know if you’d want them to know.” So much like Jay.  
“I appreciate that Kelly; I just want to put that whole thing behind me.” Finally he started moving again, and after 10 minutes of putting things away, and reassuring everyone that they didn’t need to help. I was going to sit down on my bunk, but Gallo, Cruz, and Ridder were fooling around, and I had promised Will that I would call him when I had time so he could see how I was doing. Let’s just say he did not enjoy the storytime he was met with when he came over to Jay’s; in fact he was probably more pissed off then Jay. It was so funny, but with the guys being in the bunk room ment that there wouldn’t be enough silence to be able to have a phone call. You were lucky if you could get a bar in the gym, laundry area, and basically anywhere where it would be quiet with a full firehouse. There were only a couple rooms that I could think of, but you couldn’t just walk in to them. That is why I am on my way to find either Severide, or possibly Hermann. I’m not going to verbally admit it, but I was avoiding Casey. I honestly didn’t think that there was anything between us, but Stella made another comment while we were in the car so I thought some distance was probably best. Especially since I’m pretty sure Sylvie has a crush on him. Unfortunately, when I found Kelly he was talking to Mouch and Hermann with Casey a couple feet away.  
“Maybe someone with a Lieutenants’ salary.”  
“Sorry Hermann, but I go to Molly’s to drink: not to work. Sorry.” I walk over in between both Severide and Mouch: furthest away from Casey in hopes that he won’t hear.  
“Hey Sev, can I use your office to call Will. He wanted me to check in, and the guys are rough housing near the bunks.” I got a look from Casey, and I knew what was coming next.  
“You can use my office if you want.” I sent Kelly a look that I knew I was going to be questioned about later, but thankfully he got the point. Though not before I saw the look Sylvie was giving Casey.  
“No she can use mine. I have some different training procedures that I was gonna ask her to look over anyway. They’re on my desk; look over them after you talk to Will.” Thank god he is not completely oblivious. I sent him a small smile before making my way to Kelly’s office. Thankfully, Will answered on the second ring because if I didn’t start talking Severide would’ve already made his way over here.  
“Hey Elle, What’s up; are you ok?” I guess this is the response you get when you have a serial arson break into your apartment.  
“I’m fine, you just wanted me to check in; make sure I was ok.”  
“Elle we both know you could’ve just texted me; what’s up?” Ok I officially did not like this sibling intuition that they seemed to have. I saw enough of it last night to know that they were masters.   
“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about Will.” Maybe he was picking up on something that I wasn’t.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Ok well text or call me if you need anything.” I guess he wasn’t gonna push this, thankfully considering I had no clue what he was picking up on.  
“Ok well talk to you later then.” He said his goodbye, and then I hung up. Almost immediately there was a knock on the door, and it was Severide.  
“So want to tell me why you’re avoiding Casey.” He sat on his bed while I sat on his desk chair.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I should’ve learned from before that he wasn’t oblivious.  
“Really, then why did you send me that look when Casey said that you could use his office.” He wasn’t gonna let this go.  
“I just want to create some space between us.” I got a giant no shit look.  
“Yeah, I got that one, but why?” Did I really want to talk about relationships with Kelly Severide. Why not. It probably won’t be the weirdest thing I’ve done this week.  
“I got out of an engagement a couple of months ago, and now with this whole brother thing; moving to an entirely new place. I just don’t have enough space to fit in figuring out a relationship, and then there’s the whole he’s a superior.” He was actually contemplating about this. As pigheaded as he could be he really did care.  
“Alright I get all of those points, and just so you know Stella will probably be on you about the whole engaged thing, but I don’t get the superior one. I’m dating Stella, and I’m her superior.”  
“Not the same; you’re not her direct superior. If Boden wasn’t here then Casey would be Boden. I just can’t do it.”  
“Do what?” Ok so first he was perspective, and now he wants to be oblivious.  
“It’s hard being a woman in any first responder position. I’ve already gotten enough crap for how I got my Lt. rank.” He still seemed confused.  
“I was engaged to the son of the Fire Commissioner in New York. Stella might have told you about it, but it’s just one of those things that you have to experience to understand.”   
“Will she have to go through that?” Now I have concerned Severide. He obviously had never thought of this so it might have been a good thing that I brought this up.  
“She will, and for her it will be both sexist and racist comments, and the comments about her being with you. Stella will just have to prove them wrong, and you can’t try to protect her from it. All you can do is support her.” Knowing Kelly he was going to try to protect her from it; it’ll just make everything worse.  
“You guys shouldn’t have to go through that.” He wasn’t wrong, and I’m glad he’s having this conversation now.  
“True, but in a way It’s our superpower. It makes us stronger and more determined to be the best: better than men. You just increases our determination to do the job the best we can, and you better not make some smart-ass comment about men and women being equal.”  
“Oh yeah, Madden, why?”   
“Because I’ll shut you down with three things: periods, pregnancy, and living in a society that has a history of male superiority.” What? He walked right into that one, and the look I got for it was worth it.


	10. Chapter 10

Elle’s P.O.V.

Finally, I was able to go back to my apartment. Jay, Will, Kim, Adam,Severide, Stella and I had gone over there yesterday to clean everything up. I was in Jay’s apartment all alone just finishing up packing my bag before I left. Jay had left 15 minutes ago to go to work so I was on my own. I could leave whenever I wanted, and I was ready to leave soon. Don’t get me wrong I’ve enjoyed getting to know Jay better, but I miss my personal space: especially since in a way we were strangers when everything happened and still were. When I walked out into the living room I saw a box with a note on the top of it. There was no way it had been there before. Jay must’ve put it there before he left. I put my bag down by the door as I went to investigate, and picked up the piece of paper that had writing on it.

Elle-

Will and I have been talking about the obvious thing the three of us have been avoiding, and we both feel like you deserve an answer. Neither of us know the real reason, but our mother kept many journals. We have never looked through them, but you should. Out of any of us you deserve an answer so I hope, if you decide to read them, that they give you at least some sort of answer as to why.

\- Jay

Inside the box there were over ten journals. I guess she really was a prolific writer. Did I really want to read these. Wasn’t it an invasion of privacy. I shouldn’t read them, but this might be my one chance to get answers; the closest I might ever be to her.

A couple hours later

I was now in my apartment, and I think I have convinced myself to look through one of them. I figured that I should read the one that would’ve been from around the time that I was born. Though I still didn’t know if I should do this; she probably wrote this in privacy. Was this right? Was this really the only reason why I was reasoning with myself not to read them? What if I didn’t like the reason? Do I want to know the truth? (Deep Breath) No...Elle you deserve an answer. Even if it may not be the one that you want, you need this. Well dive right in then.

Dear Diary,

I don’t even know why I still say that at the beginning of every entry. If my boys ever read these I know they’ll cringe. Anyway there has been a new development; Pat is back, and he swears he’s better now. I honestly doubt that he really has, but I need his help in order to raise Jay and Will. They need a father, and I can only hope that fatherhood will change him for the better. I’ve been doing it alone for the past couple of months, and I know that if things continue the way they have been I won’t be able to raise my boys in a semi-comfortable financial environment. I need Pat because I can’t work a full time job, be a mom, and pay for child care. They aren’t even old enough to go to school full time yet, and I can’t ask my parents for help because they basically disowned me for marrying Pat [...]   
I’m pregnant...I’m pregnant and I can’t keep it. Pat said that we wouldn’t be able to do it. I don’t see how he can just expect me to hand one of my babies over. I don’t want to do it; who would want to give away their child, but Pat threatened to leave us if I don’t. If he leaves again I won’t be able to give my boys the life they deserve, but is it worth not being able to be a mother to my third child [...]  
It’s a girl. My baby is a girl. Is she even my baby? I have decided that I’m going to put her up for adoption; try to give her the best life possible. Am I making the right decision? If I don’t then Pay will leave. Is that such a bad thing? Ever since I got pregnant our relationship is nonexistent, and I know he’s been cheating. Maybe it’s for the best that she isn’t raised around him. I know he’s not going to be a good role model to her, and it will force Jay and Will to grow up sooner. They don’t even know that I’m pregnant. It’s for the best because I don’t know how I’m going to explain to them why they have a sister who can’t be with us. [...]  
Anyway thank you for listening to me: like always.  
-Ciara Prudence

She always ended her entries with that one sentence, and her name. Ciara Prudence, that was the name of my birth mom. She wanted me. I started to put the book away when a paper fell out. What was this? 

Dear my precious baby girl,

They just took you away; that’s probably why there are tear marks on this paper. I doubt you will ever read this, but I feel like you deserve something from me so here it is.   
I hope you know that I will always love you even if I can’t show it to you physically. I will always remember when I first heard your cries; they were different from your brothers. Theirs sounded like cries, but yours sounded more like a giggle. I don’t know how to explain it, but for the short period that I got to spend with you all I could think of was how happy you were. You smiled right at me the second you were placed on my chest. The hardest thing that I will probably ever do is let you go. I hope that you always have that laugh and joy.  
I felt that it was wrong of me to give you a name because you were not technically going to be mine so I didn’t. However, I do have one fantasy. Whatever your name is I think that it is beautiful, but I do have this dream that your middle name would be Prudence. I know it’s a weird dream, but I have always dreamed of giving my daughter my middle name. I hope you like it. Will hates his middle name with a passion.  
Speaking of your brothers I hope that you find each other some day. I truly believe that the three of you will find each other. I hope that you protect each other in a way that I couldn’t. I couldn’t keep you all together; I couldn’t be the mother that you needed, and for that I’m sorry.  
I told myself that I didn’t want to end this in an apology. I wanted to be hopeful about your future, and I pray to god that you have a wonderful life. On the horrible chance that you don’t grow up in a loving environment I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t create an environment and home where I could keep you; where you could’ve been mine. I wish that I could’ve watched you grow up with your brothers. I wish that I could watch Jay and Will be protective over you.   
Ever since I found out that you were a girl I’ve had this image of your first prom. Well I have two different visions of how that night could play out. One being that you go with an amazing person whom your brothers will never approve of, but secretly like that you’re happy. The other one, and maybe this is my total mom wish, but that you go to prom with one of your brothers. I know...I know it’s lame, but I just hope that if you don't have a date, or if for some other reason, one of your brothers is sweet enough to go with you. Of course it will probably be them that don’t have a date.  
I love you my sweet girl, always. I can only hope that you grow up to be a beautiful, strong, independent young woman. I will always be proud of whoever you become. I love you so much that it killed me to have to let you go.

With so much love,  
Your mother

I didn’t know how I was supposed to react to that. For the first time in months I cried. She wanted me. She was proud of me. She loved me, but she still let me go. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that.

A couple hours later

“Hey, can I get a shot of rum.”  
“Hey Marty, make it two and put it on my tab. Fancy seeing you here, and here I thought you didn’t drink.” I turn towards him, and I can already tell that he’s concerned.  
“I do just not in public normally. I thought that I wouldn’t know anyone here, Adam.” Once the shots came we both downed ours.  
“Well I’m sorry I’m here then; if you want to be alone.”  
“No it’s fine I just don’t know what I want right now.” I could already tell his wheels were spinning.  
“Does this have anything to do with why Jay was on edge all day?” All I could do was nod. I didn’t want to think about that. I was about to ask for another, but Adam grabbed my hand before I could.  
“How about we walk to my apartment, and we can have some liquor there. This way you’re not in public and could only embarrass yourself in front of me.” Like that makes it any better, but I followed him. Anything was better than thinking about it.   
About 5 minutes into our walk Adam decided to break the silence.  
“So if you don’t mind asking what has gotten the Halstead siblings so on edge?” How was I supposed to answer this? I didn’t even know if I wanted them to know that I read it; that I found that letter.  
“The truth.” That was as plain as I could put it.  
“About?”  
“Why I was put into the system.” He turned to me quickly causing me to trip slightly, and thankfully he caught me before I hit the ground.  
“Sorry...but how bad is it?” Depends on who you ask. My brain is reminding me that I’ve heard of worse stories from other foster kids, but my heart is telling me that it might’ve been better if she didn’t want you. Then you wouldn’t have a relationship to mourn because you never had it.  
“She wanted me; he didn’t clear as day. She couldn’t live financially with three kids by herself, and he told her that if she kept me he would leave. She made a decision; that’s it.” I could tell that he was reading into my words.  
“What do you want to do about it?” Honestly, I just didn’t want to think about it right now. I needed a break.  
“I want to forget.” Then it was like this magnetic pull. As soon as those words left my mouth we both turned at each other, and kissed. We made it to his apartment, and we did more than kiss. The next morning we both agreed that it was a one time thing, but somehow he ended up at my apartment that night. I don’t know what we are, but I know that it’s a great distraction for both of us from the ugly, awful world.


	11. Chapter 11

Adam’s P.O.V.

“Adam we have got to stop doing this.” Yet she had her head buried into my chest. “You say that every morning Elle. Just go back to sleep.” It was just a pattern now, for her to say that every morning, but today I did not want to get up.  
“You know I can’t; I go back on calls today.” I was not looking forward to it; it meant that some nights she’ll be at 51. I had gotten used to her being here.  
“Fine...one more minute though.” Elle looked up at me and put a hand on my face before leaning up to meet my lips. Then she broke away, and got up walking towards the bathroom.  
“I’m gonna take a shower if you want to join me.”

Elle’s P.O.V.

“Madden, can I see you in my office for a moment?” Oh no what happened now?  
“Sure Chief; what’s up.” I didn’t think I was in trouble. As soon as he closed the door I knew that this was serious.  
“I know that you didn’t want people to know about your rank, but I might need you to lead Squad.” What? What about Sev?  
“Why?”  
“The commissioner has given Van Meter permission to have Severide work in OFI until they are caught up from the backlog.” What...no they can’t take Severide; Squad needs him.  
“Is he going to talk to the commissioner?” Severide is needed at 51; he can’t go to OFI.  
“He is, but that doesn’t mean anything. I need you to be prepared to take over Squad if he does have to go to OFI.” No...I’m not going to let that happen.  
“Understood sir; am I dismissed?” As soon as he nodded his head I was out of there, and I immediately went to find Severide who was in his office.  
“When were you gonna tell me about OFI?” He looked like a deer in headlights.  
“To be fair, E, I was only told this morning when that Lt. stopped by.” Wait, the one that was undressing him with her eyes. Brett and I were talking about it early. Oh yeah there’s no way I’m letting this happen.  
“When are you going to talk to the commissioner?”  
“5 tomorrow after shift.” Well I know where I’m gonna be.

The next day at 5

Elle’s P.O.V.

“Adam, I’ll be at Molly’s as soon as I take care of something. I gotta go; see you later.” As soon as I met his eyes I knew he was surprised that I was here in my dress uniform waiting for him.  
“Elle? What are you doing here?”   
“Making sure that you don’t go to OFI.” Unfortunately, we both knew what I meant, and I was pretty sure that Severide wasn’t happy. Oh well.  
“Lieutenants Severide and Madden, the commissioner will see you now.” Well here goes nothing. As we were walking into the office I could feel Severide’s eyes staring into the back of my head.  
“Well I was just expecting Lt. Severide, but the more the merrier. Lt. Madden, can I ask what you’re doing here?”  
“Allow me to go to OFI, sir. I have a better track record than Severide when it comes to closing cases.” I could tell Kelly was slightly offended, but it was fact and I’m helping him out here.  
“Are you volunteering?”   
“Yes sir; until the backlog is gone.” He just said ok, and that he was going to tell Van Meter, and then he will call me. Severide didn’t talk to me until 5 minutes after we left the office.  
“Why the hell would you do that?” I knew that he was thinking about the last time I worked at OFI; he wasn’t there, but he knew what happened.  
“Sev, 51 has already gone through enough changes in the past few months. They don’t need anymore significant one happening any time soon. Then there’s...uh nevermind.”   
“What?” It might be easier to talk to him about it.  
“Whenever I worked OFI cases part of it was to bring people closure, but another part of it was just a distraction from the real world. Worst part of being a firefighter is that it’s hard to bring work home.” He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and turned toward me. I knew he was going to ask.  
“What do you need a distraction from?”  
“Jay and Will gave me these journals, her journals, to find answers as to what happened. I only read the one that was dated around the time she would’ve been pregnant with me.”  
“And what did you find?” A lot of stuff that I’m not sure how I’m supposed to comprehend.  
“She wanted me and he didn’t. He threatened to leave her if she kept me because apparently they wouldn’t be able to be able to fund another child while giving Jay and Will the best opportunities they could have.”  
“I’m sorry.” He pulled me into a slight side hug.  
“I mean I get it; it’s logical, but a part of me is still hurt and I can’t make that part shut up.” Every piece of me besides my heart knows that it was the right decision, but my heart is still heart. It keeps relating the situations to her choosing them over me. She didn’t choose me.  
“Have you talked with Jay or Will about this?”  
“No, they don’t even know that I read the journal because when I gave the box back to Jay I told him that I didn’t. That it was an invasion of privacy, and that it didn’t matter if she was dead or not.” I didn’t want to look him in the eyes because I knew he would be disappointed.  
“Why?”  
“Because I had a dad, an amazing one, for four years of my life. When I think of what a dad is supposed to be I think of him. They don’t deserve to see their father any worse than they already do.” I didn’t know them, and I wasn’t really close to them, but I’ve seen a lot of people go down that rabbit hole searching for blood. I can only imagine what it might be like for them. They knew these people; they grew up with them.  
“So it’s better to keep them guessing?” Please don’t do this Sev.   
“It’s better that they know as little as possible when it comes to me and the system. Can you just leave it at that?” He nodded, but I could tell that he was reluctant to let the conversation go.  
“Alright if you ever want to talk I’m here. Are you going to Molly’s?”   
“Thanks, and yeah I was going to go back to my place and get changed then head over.”  
“Well I’ll see you there.”

At Molly’s

Elle’s P.O.V.  
Severide had beaten me there so everyone already knew, and Stells basically attacked when I walked through the door.  
“I literally got you back for only a day, and now you’re leaving me with the boys, again.” Is she seriously going to try and guilt trip me? She should be thanking me because that Lt. was looking at Severide so wrong.  
“It’s only until they get the backlog under control.” She wrapped me into a tight hug, and wouldn’t let me go until Hermann needed her. Then the other two firehouse girls came over, both of them knowing one of the real reasons why I did this. They all were treating it like I was never going to see them again. Severide even got me a beer which I had yet to touch. Molly’s was louder than normal, and it was giving me a headache so I went to one of the dark corners just watching everyone. Well until he came over.  
“Do you want me to take that off your hands?” I handed it over probably faster than he expected. It’s not that I was against drinking, or alcohol, I just liked having control over my emotions as a way to protect myself. I definitely wasn’t going to drink anything here because of the conversation Sev and I had. I was just ready for the day to be over.  
“Did you drive here?” I really wanted to get out of here, but he just started a new drink.  
“No, why do you want to get out of here?”   
“Yes, I barely got any sleep last night.”  
“Same here.” On one hand I hated that I had become dependent on him to get a good night's sleep, but on the other I was just glad that I was able to get some sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Adam’s P.O.V.

“I mean she’s just been avoiding Will and I for weeks, and I doubt that it’s because of her going to OFI.” This was awkward. Ever since Elle started at OFI she has been avoiding the Halsteads, and I knew why but I told her I wouldn’t tell them as long as she started to open up more after she figures stuff out. She’s been more open with me as our relationship has sort of evolved. It was still sleeping together almost every night, but now we would throw in a meal at a restaurant outside of Chicago so we wouldn’t be recognized when we both had off. The only real bad thing that has been happening the past couple of weeks is that Jay has taken up ranting about Elle to me.   
“I don’t know man. Maybe you should just give her a little space; you don’t really know what’s going on in her mind.” This was the same response that I have been giving since these rants have started. I did not want to get in the middle. Unfortunately, I think this was the day that Jay had enough of that response.  
“She’s had 32 years alone; you’d think she’d want family.” Alright I get it, he’s upset, but he really isn’t thinking this through. If he was to go to Elle saying stuff like this he would get his ass handed to him. Trust me I know. Elle Madden is not someone you want to tick off.  
“Jay, think about it from her perspective. She’s spent her whole childhood going from one foster home to the next, and you forget she had a family with her dad. Halstead, you can’t say that you have a clue what she’s feeling.” Most of the time I didn’t even know what she was going through.  
“How would you know all of that?” Oh crap...either Elle or Jay are going to kill me if Jay finds out.   
“Uh...I just put myself in her shoes.” Yeah like I’m so good at doing that.  
“Halstead, I need you to go to OFI; Lt. Seager wants to talk to you about a case she took.” I had never been more thankful for Hank Voight then now. I don’t know whether or not I want him to run into Elle; maybe that will help them figure this out.

Jay’s P.O.V.

“Sevs, I’m not talking about this right now.” I had just gotten to the OFI office, and apparently Seager wasn’t there yet so I went to the bathroom. Right when I came out Severide and Elle had just walked into the breakroom, which the bathroom is right next to, so I was able to hear their conversation. I know I shouldn’t be listening in on their conversations, but this is the first time since she dropped off the journals that I’ve heard her say more then “I got to go” or “I told Squad I’d sit with them”.  
“Come on Elle you’ve been avoiding them for weeks. When are you going to let them in? Or tell them that you actually read that diary and tell them the actual reason you were put into the system.” Wait...she said that she didn’t. That she didn’t feel right reading them, but...she actually did. What did she read?  
“It’s better for them that they don’t know.” Don’t know what?  
“Why Madden? I’m almost completely positive that they already have a bad image of their dad; knowing that he was the main reason why your bio mom gave you up won’t really change that.” I could tell by his voice that he was getting frustrated, and Elle was starting to get emotional. Which I don’t think I’ve ever heard.  
“It makes it real. It makes them a potential type of family. The same type of family that I don’t have the best of luck with. They always leave.” She’s scared. Adam really was right.  
“Not all of them leave, Elle.”   
“For me they do. They always do. It’s not some depressed thing that you should feel sorry for; it’s the truth Kelly nothing more nothing less.” How many people have left her? She barely knew us, but she seemed to have her mind made up that family was bad; that they caused pain. God how things would’ve been different if mom had just kept her. Why did mom give her away?  
“E, you know you’re going to have to talk to them, right?”  
“I know K; trust me I don’t ever get to forget about it.” I guess it must be tough for her. She had people who had only known her for a couple of months trying to help her out by giving her suggestions: Severide was an example of that.  
“They’re good people, Elle.” At least Will and I had Severide on our side in getting to know our sister.  
“Yeah, so everyone keeps telling me. I don’t care whether or not they’re good people. I don’t know what I want from them.”  
“Well maybe you should figure it out, and it might help by being honest with them about you know what.” Wait...what was she hiding. I hadn’t even known her a year, and she was already hiding things.   
“Sevs, don’t even mention him right now. Technically we aren’t even dating; it’s casual that is it.” Dating!!! Who the hell was she dating?!? Is this what it feels like having a sister? She’s dating someone? What if he’s an abuser? What if he’s a rapist? What if he’s killed someone? What if he hurts her? As soon as I get his name I’m doing the most intensive background check I’ve ever done.  
“But it’s serious enough where you’re not just sleeping with him. You’re going on dates with him, and talking to him about this whole situation. I’d call that dating” What! She’s told this random guy more about what’s going on inside her head then us. Who the hell is he?  
“Whatever Sevy, I have to go, and talk to a witness.” 

A couple hours later

Jay’s P.O.V.

I had gone home for the night. I just needed to think. What was I gonna tell Will? Should I even tell him? Elle told Severide all of that in confidence, and the only reason why I overheard their conversation was just a case of being there. Ring...Ring...huh speaking of Severide.  
“What’s up?”   
“Jay you have to get down to Gaffney. Elle’s in a coma.”


	13. Chapter 13

Jay’s P.O.V.  
“Severide what the hell happened?” I had just gotten to Med to see all of 51, some of Intelligence, Seager, Van Meter, and Will all in the waiting room. Severide and Adam went over to me and dragged me over to the side.  
“She went to talk to a witness to ask a couple follow up questions on a case she was working on. Elle saw potential signs of it being a bombing, but wanted to get the full picture before bringing in PD. The case was from a couple months ago, but because of the backlog it was never checked on. The guy ended up being the bomber, and when Elle showed up he panicked. We don’t know all that happened, but Rhodes and Choi said when they came out a couple minutes ago that she suffered some sort of head trauma, and some internal bruising with a couple cracked ribs. Though they did put her into a medically induced coma to help her heal” Are you serious? This girl has the worst luck.  
“Is he in custody?” I turned right to Adam because I knew damn well Intelligence was going to take this.  
“Not yet, but BOLO is out with his full description. He’ll be in custody soon.” Great, Voight better not take me off this case. I want to speak to this guy, but first I wanted to see how bad Elle was.  
“Can we see her?” All I got were two head shakes no. Adam’s phone then went off so he walked away before either of them could give me any explanation.  
“Rhodes said that there were a couple of complications when she was brought in so they want her to be stable for a bit before they let people see her. As long as everything goes well they said that we should be able to see her in an hour or two.” Well? Complications? What does that even mean?   
“They didn’t say what the complications were...did they?” All I got was a quick no before he walked back towards Kidd, and I went to sit by Will. No one talked; we all just sat there in silence. Elle wasn’t even dead, but I was still going over all the things that I could’ve done differently. I keep coming back to never giving her those journals, or at least her not reading them alone. I should’ve thought of that. I should’ve been more considerate about how she was feeling instead of having this need for answers; for her to know a bit of our mother, but maybe that was the problem. Will and I never thought of how she was feeling; we didn’t want to because we didn’t want to see the hurt that our amazing mom caused. It was stupid, and obviously the wrong way to go. We pushed her away because of it, and now she’s here. 

Elle’s P.O.V.  
Blinding light...that was all I saw for the first couple of minutes after I opened my eyes. Once that faded away I could finally see where I was. I was in a room that was the epiphany of home. A big sofa in the middle with an oldish tv, and pictures on all of the walls. In most of them were two boys, one had brown hair and green eyes and a redhead with brown eyes, along with a younger girl who was the carbon copy of what I looked like when I was a kid. I was in that life; the life where she kept me, but how did I get here.  
“Elle!!!” What? Who was calling me? I was about to respond when two kids came running into the room. The brunette boy from the pictures, and mini me. They looked between 8 and 5.   
“Jay you can’t get it back! Last time I gave you Pebbles he ended up under your bed.” Jay...that confirmed it. I’m stuck in the hole of depictions of all of the what ifs that I have thought up, and now my mind was going to torture me with them.  
“Come on Ellie! He was just making sure there weren’t any monsters!” I guess my child self didn’t by it because she put her hands on her hips, and screamed  
“Mommy, Jay’s trying to play with Pebbles again!” That’s when she walks in. She had dark rich chocolate colored hair that fell to the middle of her back in curls along with warm dark brown eyes. That was Ciara Prudence Halstead: my mother. She was beautiful.

Jay’s P.O.V.  
We had been sitting in her room for an hour or two now. People had been coming in and out but Will, Severide, Kidd, Gallo, Ridder, myself, and surprisingly Adam. I hadn’t questioned it.   
“Did you ever notice the similarities between her and mom?” He was right she had mom’s brown hair just with the reddish tint, and her eyes held the same warmth.  
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I didn’t really want to talk about mom right now. If we started talking about her then Will, or someone else, was going to bring up the whole thing which I do not want to think about. I just want to worry about whether or not my sis...Elle will be ok. It didn’t feel right calling her my sister being as I didn’t know her, and she obviously didn’t trust us.

Elle’s P.O.V.  
“Jay, you better catch me!” The scenes kept shifting. I had seen birthdays, holidays, first day of schools, and so on. Though I still couldn’t remember how I got here. Now I was watching Will, Jay, and I in a public pool with the boys in the pool and young me preparing to jump in. I was scared to jump in so Jay promised that he would catch me. For some reason this stuck out. I couldn’t get that out of my head; the amount of trust that little girl had for those two boys. The only person I had ever trusted half as much was my dad or maybe Chief Smith. Trust was hard for me, but this girl had just jumped so willingly into the arms of her brother without barely flinching.  
[...]  
“Oh come on you two come over here so I can get some pictures.” She was right. In her letter she had this vision of me going to prom with one of the boys, and here my teenage self was all dressed up standing next to Jay who was in his military dress uniform getting a million pictures taken of us. It was my senior prom, and Jay had come back from training camp just to take me. Apparently, either way my teenage love life was nonexistent. Will was in pre-med school and couldn’t be there.  
“Seriously mom, it’s not like this is a big deal.” But it was. I could see it in my eyes. Jay had gone out of his way to make sure his little sister had a good night. Is that what it’s like to have a brother? 

Jay’s P.O.V.  
It’s been 4 hours since I got Severide’s call, and now it was just me and Adam here full time. Everyone else who had been here had to go to work because their shifts were starting.  
“You were right.” I mumbled it under my breath. I don’t even know why I decided to speak now. Maybe I wanted to talk about what I had overheard at OFI.  
“Huh?”  
“You were right. I never took into consideration how she must’ve felt when I gave her those journals. She read them, Ruz, Elle read them and Will and I weren’t there for her.” When I turned to look at Adam I could tell that he was slightly surprised.  
“How do you know that she read them? I thought you said that she didn’t.” He seemed more surprised that I knew than anything else.   
“I overheard a conversation between her and Severide when I went over to OFI. She’s been trying to protect me and Will from whatever the reason was.” I still haven’t had time to read those journals myself. Adam looked either slightly disappointed or angry.  
“What else did you hear?” His voice sounded slightly defensive.   
“Just that she’s sort of seeing someone, but they didn’t mention who…” His eyes sort of shifted, and couldn’t meet mine.  
“It’s you isn’t it.”

Elle’s P.O.V.  
“My sister’s first day back from her second book tour, and the first thing she does is come see me; Will’s gonna be jealous.” I was now in Intelligence. That was one thing that didn’t change: Jay and Will’s careers. Mine, however, did. I was an author. Growing up in the Halstead house I was encouraged by not only her, my brothers, but also my biological father, which surprised me, to continue writing. I had always loved to write, but after my dad died it just never felt right. I was surprised that my biological father had some part in my, would be, life. He was there for some of it. I had even witnessed my younger self in the garage with him working on this old camaro. It was weird: watching moments of my life that had the same people in them. For all of my life people just came in and out; no one stayed.  
“For your information I called Will when I got off of the plane, and he said that the ED was very busy so it was probably best if we meet up after his shift. It has nothing to do with what brother is my favorite; your life is just boring at the moment.” One thing that I stupidly liked was that sibling banter; I’ve never had that.   
“Yo Halstead, who is this?”   
“I’m Elle; his little sister, and you are?”  
“It’s nice to meet you; I’m Adam Ruzek.” Adam...I wish he was here; talking things out with him just helped clear things up. I guess I probably get why Jay has taken up on it as well. Though I still hadn’t figured out where here was. Now the scene had turned to that bright light again. Was I dead, and if so how did I get here?   
“Elle.” Dad.

Jay’s P.O.V.  
What is happening? The machines just started going crazy, and Adam and I were pushed out of her room. Rhodes and Choi had a bunch of nurses in there. We couldn’t see a thing through the window  
“Jay, what the hell happened?” I guess Will must have heard what was going on because he looked slightly out of breath.  
“I don’t know. The machines just started making random noises, and then Choi pushed us out.” You could see the panic that filled his eyes. Just then Choi and Rhodes decided to walk out of the room.  
“There is nothing wrong with her wounds; no internal bleeding that we can see. Her injuries for sure did not cause the sudden increase in her pulse rate, respiration rate, and blood pressure. Her breathing just took a sudden increase, and from what we can tell it’s not from any physical pain.” Then what the hell happened.  
“Do you think it’s psychological pain?” What was Will on about? I thought you didn’t dream when you were in a coma.  
“I wouldn’t necessarily say pain. She is most definitely in REM right now so I think that it was more so an increase in emotions.” Both of their pagers went off so they left probably knowing that Will could better explain whatever it was that they said. We went into her room, and all sat down. Will just sat there for a minute while staring at her, and didn’t start until I gave him a nudge.  
“What...oh sorry...right well basically Elle is dreaming right now, and something in her dream caused her to have a quick intake of emotion that her body wasn’t prepared for which is why it sent off the machines. Basically she just experienced the same amount of emotion that is probably equivalent to a panic attack.” What? Is she having a panic attack? Adam seemed to be more freaked out then I was. Had he seen her actually have one?  
“She’s not having a panic attack though right?” Will seemed to realize his poor choice of words after I spoke.  
“I mean most likely not because her body temp most likely would’ve gone down if there was a spike in her hypothalamus so this most likely wasn’t a fear response which is the most common trigger of panic attacks. Elle is most likely dreaming about something that is triggering some heavy emotions from her. It can actually be a sign that she’s starting to wake up.” He didn’t tell us what it could also mean, but I didn’t want to know.

Elle’s P.O.V.  
“Daddy, how are you here?” I ran to give him a hug. I’ve missed him so much. The last time I saw him he was when he left me at the bottom of that tower to eat my breakfast.  
“Elle, I’m always here with you; you know that, but you can’t stay here.” I didn’t even know where here was.  
“I’ve missed you so much.” He put his hands on my cheeks while just staring at me.  
“I’ve missed you too angel, but you can’t stay here with me: not yet.” What did that mean? Was I dead?  
“Where even is here, daddy? How did I get here?” He just looked at me with such sorrow.  
“You’re in your mind, Elle. You were attacked; you’re in a coma.” The witness...he jumped me as soon as I told him what OFI stood for. Once I was down he ran, and then I heard someone call 911 before blanking out.  
“He attacked me daddy.” He pulled me into his arms to give me some comfort. I wasn’t scared or in pain I was just shocked.  
“Yes he did my brave little girl, but you are going to be fine. You have amazing people surrounding you.”  
“But I want you.” Tears started to form in my eyes as I finally allowed myself to be selfish. I wanted my dad.  
“I know princess, I know, but I’m always with you. I’m never leaving you, Elle.”  
“But I want you, daddy. I want to stay here with you.” He started shaking his head slightly. I knew what was coming, but I didn’t want him to say it. I just wanted to stay here with him. I’ve missed him so much.  
“You can’t stay here Elle. You know that. You’re in good hands with them, and I’ll always be with you...in your heart.” No.  
“No...no daddy I don’t want to leave.”   
“You need to live, princess. Let those two in; it’ll surprise you, and keep that man. He’s a good one. I love you, my angel, and I’m always here with you. But you have to live.” No...no...I didn’t want to leave him, but the light was already starting to fade away.  
“No...daddy please...daddy...daddy…”

Jay’s P.O.V.  
Tears had started forming in her eyes even though they still hadn’t opened. It was still Will, Adam, and myself standing around her bed hoping that she would wake up. That she would open her eyes, and as soon as she did you could see the pain.  
“Daddy.”


End file.
